{Available for purchase in our Etsy shop}
Do you want it all—a successful creative business, time to spend with your husband and children, a clean house, time to create, and time for yourself?
For some reason, I’ve been coming across a lot of women who wonder if they can actually have it all. They seem overwhelmed and are looking for the magic answer that will solve all of their problems.
I wish it were that easy.
I used to ask the “can I have it all” question constantly. My husband and I are at that exciting point in our relationship where we’ve been talking about having children. But, sometimes, it’s already a struggle to keep our house clean, give our 3 dogs lots of love and attention, run a business, and have time to create and relax. When I think about adding a baby into the mix, my head spins. But, I also know that I want children. It’s not even a question or up for debate.
So, I have to get realistic—like so many other women who are asking this question.
The answer is actually simple and straightforward. You can have it all, but you can’t do it all.
Women who have highly successful businesses and enjoy quality time with their families don’t do it all. They probably have someone clean their houses. They probably have someone they trust take care of their children while they work. They probably delegate a lot of tasks that they don’t need to do within their businesses.
We have to get real about how much we can do, and start getting help. It’s the only way to be happy—the way to spend a lazy Sunday morning in bed with your husband, the way to take a guilt-free day off to bake Christmas cookies and have a snowball fight with your children, the way to spend an entire day painting while orders still get packaged and shipped.
I can hear some of you protesting already. “But, I can’t possibly spend the money to have someone clean my house. And, I can’t even think about handing any business tasks over to a stranger.”
Stop. Stop protesting, and consider this:
What would it really cost to have someone clean your house each week? Have you even looked into it? Imagine that it saves you 5 hours that you usually spend cleaning, and what you could do with those five extra hours. Could you finally put together wholesale order forms and then go to local boutiques to meet with the owners about selling your jewelry? Could you make 5 pairs of earrings—that will eventually make you a lot more money than you spend on having your house cleaned?
What in your business do you dislike doing? Do you always put off packaging and shipping orders until the end of the day, because you don’t really enjoy it? What if you could hire a part-time assistant just to handle those tasks? No more post office, no more spending time packaging orders. Instead, you could spend those last two hours of the day making new products, updating your online shop, or preparing for your next craft show.
The answer lies in leveraging your time.
People want to know how to get more done each day. The first step is all about getting organized. The second step is giving yourself more time to do the stuff that you excel at and then finding other people to handle the rest.
If you spend time hiring the right people to be a part of your team, you could get more than 12 hours of work done each day while only working 8 of those hours yourself. Think about that before coming up with a million reasons why you can’t do it.
I think a lot of women struggle with the concept that it’s okay to get help. That it’s okay to admit that you can’t do it all. We have this superwoman complex in which we believe that we should be able to do it all. Well, who the heck says so? Think about women that you know who are successful and really happy. Do they do it all? None of the women on my list do.
Now, I know this isn’t right for everyone. If your business isn’t making any money, then you probably shouldn’t hire an assistant. However, if you’re working on building a successful creative business, you’ll have to consider it in the future.
If you’re making money and you don’t have any help, you might find that you can make a lot more money while working the same amount of hours or less when you get help.
It’s a really hard—and often scary—step to take. But, at some point, it also becomes necessary.
So, have you been thinking about getting help? What’s holding you back—or what made you take that leap?
I would say to you, “You CAN have it all – just not all at once”. There are seasons in a person’s life, and as they change, so do the options.
I had 3 children, whom I homeschooled. I had a home to take care of. I also wanted to make some money. My husband was not supportive of this, so it died.
Now my girls are grown and moved out. I have several hours each day to use as I please. Now I could have a business, because I would not need his help with the kids.
Hey Trece! Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
I have to say that I disagree with you…I think you can have it all at once as long as you get help. I’m so inspired by women who are doing this right now. They have successful careers without working more than 8 hours a day, they spend time with their families and children, and they’re happy. But again, it’s all about leveraging your time and knowing what you actually want–and then building a team of people who can help you get there.
I agree with you April. I am a homeschooling mom with 4 children. I run a successful business with an Etsy shop, theenchantedcupboard, as well as run a very active team, NaturalKids Team.
I get help when I need it…mother’s helpers for help with the kids, a Girl Friday for household and business help. I find ways to make it work in our very tight budget.
Getting help lets me enjoy my life!!
Excellent Post!!
I am feeling that stress right now!! Trying to balance it all is so difficult, but I feel the key to it is being organized and staying focused.
I try to live by my motto of “staying calm, and do no harm.”
Hey Nathan! I love your motto. Thanks for stopping by to comment.
I think you can have it all as long as you decide the proper proportions (and are willing to give up sleep.) It makes it all a whole lot easier if you have family and friend support, but there are people going it alone. That route is more stressful but it is possible.
You also have to be willing to NOT please all of the people all of the time, and frequently that does include spouses and/or parents. A successful person has to have the confidence and commitment to know their own values and priorities and honor choices that reflect them.
I completely agree with, “You also have to be willing to NOT please all of the people all of the time.”
You definitely have to learn to say no–so that you can say yes to the things in line with your values and priorities. And, that can be hard to do.
I agree that we can’t do it all, and I agree that we shouldn’t try to make everyone happy –we need to ask for help if we want it all. I also know that when I became a mom, my world completely changed –my work ambitions lessened and my yearning to stay home heightened. It was weird to say the least. And while I wanted to be my daughter’s primary caregiver more than anything, my urge to do something outside of home was still there, it was just lower on my list of priorities. Anyway, it will be interesting to see if your perspective changes at all once you are a parent. Right now I don’t want someone else to take care of my daughter, and because of that my business goals are much smaller than they could be. I must say, I actually agree with your first commenter to a certain degree, not completely, but I see what she’s saying. My husband and I want to have another child and when that happens I’ll decide to make my business smaller knowing that I only have one chance to cherish everyday with that new baby, while my business, well, it can wait to grow.
Oh, I know for sure that you’re right and that I’ll want to spend less time on business stuff and more time just with my children. I can barely leave my dogs–so who I am freaking kidding!!! But, I’m hoping that I’ll be able to get help with my business at that point, so that I can work less. I think it’s all about building the right team, so you can spend the most time on your priorities whatever they happen to be. If your priority is to spend time with your adorable daughter {and she is soooo cute}, then you have to lessen another priority or hire people who can help you maintain the same level.
I couldn’t have said it better myself!
You know, you’re doing things in a better order than I did. I started a business when my daughter was a year –rough timing in a way. But I’m ok with that –with things growing slowly 😉
I just know you’re going to be absolutely smitten with your children, when that stage comes along –that’s for sure! There’s nothing more wonderful 😉