Blacksburg Belle

Want a FREE product description review?

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{Personal Image}

I really appreciate all the support I got on Friday, and I want to reciprocate the love. So, for today–and TODAY ONLY–I’ll review one of your product descriptions. If you want to take me up on this offer, simply leave the link of the product {you have to pick just ONE} that you want me to review below in the comments. I’ll read it over and give you some feedback.

If you leave a link after 12am EST, it’ll be deleted, cause I’m only doing this today. THIS OFFER NO LONGER APPLIES–THE DEADLINE HAS PASSED. Sorry!

If you want even more information on writing outstanding product descriptions, check out this class.

Comments

    • You don’t have too much information. When someone is spending over $250, they’re going to want to know all that info. And, you have it broken up by headings which makes it easy to find the information that you’re looking for. I think you’ve done a really great job with this product description.

      The only thing I would add is when the sale ends. Humans procrastinate unless you give us a reason not to–so give your customer a reason to buy soon by stating when the sale will end. This gives your customer a reason to buy today instead of waiting for 5 months.

      Reply

      • Thanks so much for taking a look. My work is created using an unusual technique (and yes, it is expensive) so I have been trying to find a happy medium between giving enough info and not overwhelming a customer! I’m glad I achieved it. Thanks for the tip on adding a deadline to the sale–hadn’t considered that!

        Reply

        • Your jewelry is definitely worth the price tag and I think you do a good job of conveying that in your product description!

          Reply

    • How fun! Okay, I love how you include story into your video, but I would include some story of why you created this program at the very beginning of the sales page. The first sentence of your sales page needs to hook your potential customer and keep them reading…and so does the first paragraph. So, I wouldn’t start with what the offer is right away.

      When I’m reading your offering I’ve got a lot of questions: How many art journal tutorials are included? How many yoga classes will there be? How many guided meditations? And how many group consultation calls? How long will the yoga classes and group consultation calls be? How often will I have something to do? Will I get something new every day during the 30 days? How long will I have access to the materials? Will they be gone after 30 days?

      I would address the cost–$97 might sound like a lot of money to some people–but it won’t sound like as much if you compare it to the cost of taking yoga classes in person or art classes in person. You could pay much more than $97 for a day of art classes. That makes it sound like a good deal.

      Also, do you provide a guarantee? What if I sign up and I don’t like it? Can I get my money back? I would want to at least have a 7 day guarantee–this will give people more confidence to hand over their credit cards. But, they won’t be able to take the entire course and then demand to get their money back.

      And, I would include a section on who this workshop isn’t right for. This helps eliminate the wrong customers for buying and it makes the right customers feel even better about buying.

      I hope that helps!

      Reply

    • I know I’m only critiquing product descriptions–but I have to say that your pictures don’t do your product justice. The first picture is blurry–so that is the first thing I would work on, because pictures are half the battle to success of selling on Etsy.

      With the product description, I’m not sold. I love the first paragraph. It’s descriptive and fun, but I wish there was more. Who is your target market for this pendant? Who do you imagine buying it? Where do you see the person wearing it? I would add that the tree trunk is is highlighted with copper metallic powder to the first paragraph.

      I would break up the rest into 3 sections and use these subheadings: Measurement, Bail, Custom Orders. Under measurement, I would describe the measurement. Under bail, I would describe the bail and then say that you can easily slip this onto a cord, chain, or ribbon. Under custom orders, I would give your customers clear directions on how to place custom orders.

      Then I would have a link back to your shop like you already have at the bottom.

      Hope that helps.

      Reply

  5. Thanks so much, April! I am a pretty big fangirl for you & Mayi right now. 🙂

    Part of me doesn’t want to have you do a review because my default is to say, “Oh, I know, I need to ______, I just haven’t done it because ______”. And sure, I have reasons why I know my shop isn’t completely up to par . . . but I have to let go of this so I can improve. So . . . review away! And thanks again.

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/66274948/pears-pears-cup-cozy

    Reply

    • Hey Ashley! I’m glad you took me up on my offer, because I love what you are up to.

      Even though this doesn’t have anything to do with product descriptions, the first thing I would do is make your 3rd photo your 1st photo–and I would use some kind of photo editing software to lighten up your pictures. Love the product–but you’re not doing it justice with those photos. You want those colors to pop. Plus, you gotta use all 5 slots.

      I love that you donate 10% of your profits, but if you’re going to take up a picture slot with that, you need to be more specific–name the charity. I would pick one charity and stick with it. Also, when you describe it in the product description, it doesn’t feel personal. I want to know why you picked that charity. You want to make the customer want to help that charity.

      I like how you start the product description with some humor–it sets you apart and I love that you’re inspiring others to go green. I would add a little bit more about why this is important to you. Story sells.

      Reply

  6. How very generous of you! I recently found your site through Baby Swank and have been enjoying your site very much. My shop is on vacation due to the potential Canada Post strike, so I have nothing ‘live’ in the shop, so this is a link to a sold item. I worry that my descriptions are too long for a lower price point item. I’d really value your opinion – thanks so much!

    http://www.etsy.com/transaction/50004326

    Reply

    • Hey Jacquie,

      I don’t think that your product description is too long. I like that you’re thorough and really like that you give all of that information to potential customers. However, I think you should break it up and use subheadings, so your customers can easily scan and find the information that they are looking for.

      For instance, you could use the subheading, “Uses” above this paragraph:

      Nursing necklaces are worn by mamas while breastfeeding to capture baby’s attention and to distract baby from pinching, tugging, or twiddling on mama. The donut-shaped stones are smooth and lend themselves to being fiddled with as well as being stylish and fun on their own. Necklaces are wonderful for anyone who will be feeding baby while mama is away, and can also make for easier diaper changes, and are perfect for babywearing.

      Hope that helps.

      Reply

  7. What a generous offer! I landed at your blog today after listening to a Blogcast FM interview which you did, and I found it so inspiring! I love your outlook on creative entrepreneurialism! I would really appreciate any pointers on product description, as I know I need to do a lot of work on my descriptions. Knowing where to start is what is really holding me back right now.

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/73633253/turquoise-and-pink-floral-decoupaged

    Reply

    • Hey Suzi,

      You need to make it obvious to your customer why she should buy this hairbrush instead of just purchasing one at the store. What makes it unique? Who is this brush perfect for? Who is your target market? I think if you get clear on your target market, then you’ll be able to write copy that really appeals to them. Think about this: what kind of person would buy a decoupaged hairbrush instead of buying one at the store? And, who would pick this particular design? Sell to that person.

      You could also add a little something about this being a fun gift for bridesmaids.

      I wouldn’t include that you work from home in the beautiful Scottish countryside in your product description. It seems like you put it there to just to add to the description. That information would be better suited in your shop announcement and profile.

      Reply

    • Hey Heather,

      Something that catches me off guard is “Each illustration is designed by artist Heather Bredimus.” Isn’t this you? It sounds way too formal and like you’re trying too hard to make it sound impressive. I think it’s much more relatable to say, “Each illustration is designed by me and digitally printed in house.

      I really like how you make things simple for your customer by explaining how to choose a color palette and what will happen after the purchase. I think you could make it even more simple by breaking up the product description with subheadings.

      Also, I’d love to see a sentence or two about the inspiration behind the poster. Why pick animals? This will help to infuse a little bit of story and personality into the description.

      Otherwise, I think your product description rocks. There definitely isn’t much to change 🙂

      Reply

    • Such beautiful embroidery!

      You start out by saying, “Varied shades of pink wall flower surrounded by green leaves, hand embroidered on a wheat colored cotton cloth with cotton thread.” I’m completely bored by this sentence, and I shouldn’t be because I’m not bored by your product. It needs to be infused with descriptive words that catch my attention and keep me reading. Don’t just stick to the basics. Add some flair–I want to feel your personality.

      I really like that you talk about this being a part of a collection of flowers from your garden. In that paragraph, the question “Did you know that the state flower of New York is a rose?” seems out of place. I would separate this sentence into its own paragraph and add another sentence or two to it. Otherwise, I don’t know why you added this piece of information.

      Even though you say it’s a 7 inch hoop in the title, you should repeat the measurement information in the product description.

      Hope that helps!

      Reply

    • Hey Erin,

      It feels like you’re trying to shove way too much information into the first sentence. If you want to keep it the same I would separate it into 3 sentences, “Boldly stand out with this Gold and White Striped Spoon Necklace. It’s hand-painted with acrylic paint, sprinkled with gold glitter and covered in waterproof resin. This summer statement will last undoubtably all year long.” That makes it much easier to read.

      And, this should be under the first paragraph: “First date or a girls night. Gift for a friend or splurge on yourself, this necklace will be sure to turn heads.” But I would add a little more. Just saying, “First date or a girls night out,” just doesn’t sound right. You could add, “Perfect for a first date or a girl’s night out.” or put it all together “First date, girl’s night out, gift for a friend, or splurge on yourself, this necklace will be sure to turn heads.”

      I love the descriptive language that you use and that you tell your customer exactly what it’s perfect for: first date, girl’s night out…

      I think you need to focus more on how you use recycled spoons and a sentence or two about the story behind that. That information would be incredibly appealing to people who are drawn to eco-friendly products. You could use the same paragraph with each product description. Leaving out this information is leaving out a big piece of what sets you a part and makes you unique. It’s a really interesting piece of your story.

      Reply

        • LOVE it!!! Especially the detail about rescuing the spoon from a thrift store in South Carolina….those story details sell 🙂

          Awesome work!

          Reply

    • Hey Meagan,

      You’ve got it all covered in your product description! But, I would make it easier on your customer to find what they are looking for by adding headings such as : I’ve Been There, Essential Information, Perfect For, The Story, Custom Bibs, Gift Wrap and Direct Shipping.

      I did see a typo in this sentence, “It seemed like I was changing is clothes after every meal!” I think “is” is supposed to be “his.”

      Great work!

      Reply

    • What an inviting and descriptive product description! I see one grammatical error in this sentence: But the this fragrance oil messed up the works and we had to do a quick change to hot-process. {I think you need to remove the “this”}

      Also, I’d love to know more about the fragrance oils. Are they essential oils? And what are the benefits of using one of your soaps as opposed to buying soap at the store? Some customers might not know what phthalate-free means and why they’d want to buy soaps that don’t contain phthalates, so you might consider including that info.

      Reply

    • Hey Rach,

      Lovely earrings!

      The main problem with your product description is that it just gives the most basic information. There’s no personality, catchy descriptive words, or flair. Inject more of you into the product description. You can do this easily by adding the inspiration behind the earrings. Also, who is this product for? Who do you see wearing these earrings? Speak directly to that customer and your product description will feel much more relatable–and less distant.

      Also, instead of saying “tastefully wrapped,” use descriptive words that describe the wrapping. If you’ve ever watched Gilmore Girls, “tastefully wrapped” sounds like something Emily Gilmore would say, and I don’t think she’s your target market 🙂

      Reply

    • Hey Sarah,

      You definitely don’t have enough information up. Things you might want to include: materials {especially the earring hooks–most people want to know that they’re made out of}, inspiration behind the earrings, who you think these earrings are perfect for, if you receive that pair of earrings or if they’re made to order, how they’re shipped {do you put them in a jewelry box?}, and when they’ll be shipped {within 2 business days of payment? within a week of payment?}. And, you should include a link back into your shop at the bottom, because many people who shop on Etsy don’t know how to get back to the rest of your products.

      Also, you should consider using all 5 pictures slots.

      Reply

    • What a fun idea Andi! I love it 🙂

      I think you’ve really nailed the product description. I would be more specific about how your customers can send you the drawing. If they can scan it or mail it to you. And, I would be more clear on how people can reach you. If your customer isn’t familiar with Etsy, she won’t know how to “convo” you, so you could say, “Convo me by using the “contact” link on the upper right sidebar of this page.”

      The big thing you need to work on is your pictures. At least half the battle to selling online is your photos, and if your photos matched the creativity and professionalism of your product description, you’d definitely get more sales.

      Reply

      • Thanks, April! Great suggestions. I am going to be working with a photographer this summer, so hopefully that will help! 🙂

        Reply

    • Hey Deanna,

      Love what you’ve got so far–but you’ve only got the bare minimum. When you say, “Great for sketches, lists or ideas,” you’re not selling me on it. Add your personality into that statement. If I were to write it, I would say something like, “Great for sketches or doodles, especially when you’re out and about. As an artist, you never know when inspiration will hit! Make grocery lists more fun by jotting them down in this handmade notebook. Or, keep it next to your nightstand to write down all those creative ideas that pop into your head when you’re about to fall asleep.”

      If you just add a little more personality and flair to your description, it’ll make it more appealing to your potential customers and it’ll get them one step closer to hitting that “add to car” button 🙂

      Reply

    • Hey Kristi,

      First, if these are your best sellers, you should be announcing that! People want what other people want and have, so you should say something like, “My best-selling blue police box earrings are perfect for Doctor Who fans.” I would definitely change the beginning phrases into a sentence, so it flows. I’d also give a little more information on the inspiration behind the earrings.

      You have a little grammatical error here: “Your jewelry arrives on on a BohoBear jewelry card ready for gift-giving.” You repeat on twice.

      Hope that helps.

      Reply

    • Hey Tina,

      You’ve got a really fun product. And as a vegan, I appreciate that it’s animal friendly!!!

      But, I’m confused. You say that this is eye shadow, but then you state that it’s safe for lips, eyes, face, and nails. How would I use loose powder on my lips? And how would it stay on my nails? That’s a bit confusing to me–and I think it’s probably confusing to your customers, too. I think you should stick with selling it as eye shadow–unless you describe how to use it in other ways.

      Also, I would break up your product description up by subheadings. For instance, instead of having it read:

      Ingredients: Mica…..

      I would have it read:

      Ingredients

      Mica…..

      Including some white space and using subheadings really helps your potential buyer find the information that she’s looking for quickly. It also makes longer product descriptions easier to read.

      Also, you say “Samples Available,” but then you don’t tell your potential customer how to get a sample until two paragraphs later. I would have “Samples Available” as a subheading and tell how to get samples directly below it..

      You include that you get 1 gram of loose powder with the order, but most customers will probably have a hard time imagining how much that is. If you could compare it to something more familiar, then it’d help your customer {such as a tablespoon of sugar}. Or, you could estimate how many uses the customer would get out of it.

      Hope that helps.

      Reply

    • Hey Jamie,

      I think you’ve done a really good job with your product description. You might want to consider giving your potential customers a better idea of how long your earrings are–because it’s hard to imagine 3 inches. For instance, you could include that same information but add something like, “On most adult women, they dangle right above your shoulders.” Or, something like that. Or you could show the earrings in a picture next to something that shows how long they are.

      Instead of working on your product descriptions, I’d work on your product photos. It looks like you’re taking pictures of your earrings on the ground which is automatically off-putting to me. It’s not a deal breaker, but it makes me think, “Are these earrings clean?” It doesn’t look professional and doesn’t do your earring justice.

      Hope that helps!

      Reply

  21. April,

    A question for you that maybe you’ve been asked before: am I better to list “Customer’s Choice of One…” or have a specific listing on etsy for each item separately? I ask since I make reusable bags that are the same but from different fabrics and often wonder if it’s overwhelming for someone who visits my shop to see 10 of the same (or very similar) items in stock.

    Thanks!
    Amanda

    Reply

  22. Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that I have truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again soon!

    Reply

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