Do you feel guilty when you’re spending time with friends and family, because you think you should be spending time on your business?
Do you feel guilty when you spend time on your business, because you think you should be spending time with friends and family?
If you do, you’re definitely not alone.
I receive plenty of emails that revolve around this issue–the “but-I-should-be-doing-this” syndrome. Watch today’s video to see my thoughts on how you can deal with this issue in a way that’ll make you, your family, and your friends happy.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. How do you deal with “but-I-should-be-doing-this” guilt? Answer in the comments below.
P.S. How fun are those balloons? I think that’s my favorite background so far. It’s definitely the most dramatic.
I find that I get up earlier than everyone else and get a huge chunk of work done before anyone even crawls out of bed. My hub’s helps with my biz too so I can be very clear on things I need him to do for me(he don’t crawl outta bed until 10am). I end up doing most of my work on the weekends and have been doing a bit extra lately because I know I’ve get surgery coming up and want to make things as seamless as possible. This way when the kiddos come home from school I can be mom to them. My daughter is the typical 14 yr old (ahem drama queen) and she wants to have a full hour discussion after school everyday( please take me with you lol).
That’s definitely a good tip for morning people! I hope your surgery goes really well and you have a fast recovery time Brandi!
Hahahahaha…I remember coming home from school and wanting to tell my mom all about my day, too. I realize now how much time I took up of hers…A LOT!
I vote for misbehaving! =P
Really good advice, I try and keep “normal” work hours throughout the week so that I’m done with work when my boyfriend gets home and I’m not stressing about work on the weekends!
Hahahahahaha 🙂
I do that, too. I try to get the majority of my work done when my husband is at work, so we can spend time together when he’s home.
Another great video April and I love that background too!
Scheduling time is really important. Something that I have to really focus on is remembering that no matter how small my business is right now it means so much to me to develop it that I have to honour it by dedicating time to it and saying ‘no’ to people sometimes. I find that as I work from home people around me think that my schedule is totally flexible and I can fit in with whatever plans they have or I can run errands for them and I can totally lose a day’s work because of that. I need to start saying ‘no’ more as if I don’t prioritise my working day I can’t expect anyone else to.
I completely relate to you Dani! When I started working from home, most people in my life thought that meant I could work around them. I’d get phone calls from friends and family during the day and they would want to talk for thirty minutes. I’d have to say, “I can’t talk. I’m working.” They didn’t get it at first, but they do now. They’ve realized that when I say I’m working, I mean business {well, most of them anyways!}.
I’m in the same boat. Sometimes I feel bad telling people no, but I feel way worse when I lose a day of work because of that! April is right, gotta stick to those schedules:-)
April,
Isn’t it funny how a lipstick can totally change your day??? I know when I have on my fav lipstick it gives me the power to rule the world! I totally understand the importance of being devoted to one thing personal or biz at a time because my little Kathryn sets me straight whenever I grab my phone or computer – she hollers out mommy don’t you want to spend time with me? Put away that computer, but I know that family time is so important ’cause it helps you maintain the balance. Love the balloons today it’s so super cute!
Awwwww! That’s too adorable. It sounds like Kathryn does set you straight!
Family time is sooooo important for maintaining your creative edge and energy. I know I always feel refreshed after spending a weekend with family and friends.
Hi April!
This is so true 🙂 and your tip is clever.
Thanks
And yes… I love your background a lot!!!
Cheers!
Natso
Thanks lady!
*LOL!* I always enjoy the “entertainment” time.
This is good advice that I needed to hear… Thank you.
I LOVE balloons, and Red is one of my favourite colours, so I LOVE this background, too. =)
Yay!!! Glad you enjoyed it {and the background!}.
April, I think you are right. I’ve noticed that a person who goes to work for an employer ususally doesn’t feel guilty about what they are missing, because they are 1) obligated to their employer to be there, and 2) have that time blocked out and everyone understands. They may just feel sad about what they’re missing.
I have thought about setting work hours for myself. I think the concept of blocking out and “announcing” the time *ahead of time* would create a clear delineation between responsibilities. It would also give a sense of security that what is not currently being done will be guaranteed to happen later, because the time has been earmarked ahead of time.
Yes, exactly! Thanks for adding to the conversation Christi! Let me know how it goes if you block off time for your biz.
April, Thanks for the great video. Excellent point about being 100% committed to the activity at hand. Not always easy to do for me but this is a great reminder that I always get more done (and feel better while doing it) when I focus solely on one activity. LOVE the background and the lipstick. Red is your color!
Hey Elizabeth! It’s great to “see” ya lady!!! My mom always told me that red is my color.
Oh, April! Love the balloons, love your advice. Guilt has been a personal refrain ever since I started my business and this just feels like a gentle reminder that I can reframe the conversation in my head and on my calendar 🙂 Thank you! 🙂
Yes, reframe that conversation. Thank you so much for the kind words!
Another great video, April! You look pretty, the background is very upbeat and cheerful, and it is a good topic…….. Thanks very much!
Thanks Marian!
April I love the background today and you looked especially beautiful! Red really brings out your eyes. I have the same issue as some have posted about family and friends thinking I can schedule everything around them, my three teens being the WORST! To combat that I’ve been doing a split schedule day, I work from early mornings till about 2pm then go run any errands I have to go do, get home by 5 for the kids and family time and from about 10pm till 12am I’m back to work. An only major exception to this is when my hubby is home who is an OTR truck driver, and then it is all family time since we only see him twice a month. I’m still trying to train everyone not to interrupt my working time till after two, since I run 3 online businesses and need time for each. I’m really not looking forward to kids being off for the summer because I know this is going to be a daily battle.
Wow Amanda–three teens! I bet you have your hands full. It’s great that you’ve got a schedule that you attempt to stick to, even if your teens don’t always understand.
Hi April, love the background and the lipstick! I run 2 businesses, one of which I just started and is especially personal so there are still organizational issues going on there. But I know exactly what you and your readers mean when the guilt gets mentioned. It’s hard to justify working on 1 business untill it shows return, but it won’t show return if you don’t put the hours in.
Thanks once again for the great video, I am going to get my schedule out and see if I can define it a little more.
ps: I’m rooting for your husband 🙂
It’s the chicken and the egg. You can’t make a profit until you spend lots of time on it–but you feel guilty spending time on it before you make a profit. I get that. I’m starting something new {it’s currently top secret} and I don’t have any plans on it making money anytime soon. So, I do have to remind myself that it’s okay to take part of my day to put towards something new that isn’t making a profit.
Hahaha! I vote for misbehaving!
I love your backgrounds. I know you must hear it all the time, but THANK YOU for making your videos visually interesting. I’ve seen way to many video bloggers throw together a video that looks so boring I just want to turn it off after 30 seconds–even if they have good information.
Thanks for the reminder about scheduling personal time and business time. Both are worthy of my undivided attention. Have a great weekend! 🙂
I love hearing that! I do put A LOT of time into planning out different backgrounds. It’s actually a lot of fun for me, too. It’d be easier to do the same thing every week, but it definitely wouldn’t be as fun.
I need this so much. I am feeling pulled in so many directions right now. Spring always feels this way for some reason. I’ve nearly adjusted to my new part time job so it’s about time to start scheduling my business time for real now! This simple tip should help me fight distraction.
I fully agree. The balloons are a spectacular background! You are wonderfully inspirational.
Thanks Kristin! I’m so glad this came at a good time for you. Schedule that time–and don’t let yourself get overwhelmed.
April, you know I love you! This one is really complicated for work at home moms though. My kids are around a LOT. I do struggle with the guilt of not being completely present with them because I am doing the little things. Your advice is great: It’s good to split up time and devote 100% of yourself to personal life or business life, but that is HARD when you are with your kids from 6 AM to 7 PM and then too exhausted to work from 7 PM to 11 PM. (Not to mention that the hubs gets very little time with me).
The WAHM challenge is a work in progress… I try to get away for an hour when I REALLY need to get something done (if someone can watch the kids). But it is really a struggle!
A lot of the advice I’ve gotten from you since I’ve been following you has really helped in this department, though. I have become so much more organized and productive because of a lot of your tips!
I would say that it’s just as important for stay at home moms. Obviously, goals have to change and you might not have the same the amount of time as women who don’t have children. But, I still think it’s important to have structured business time if you take your business seriously.
That might look a little different. For instance, you might have your “structured” business time before your children wake up, during naps, and two hours a week when your children are at a play date. But, I still think it’s important.
I agree–I bet it is a lot harder. But, I think it’s necessary.
LOL! Kris gets my vote 🙂 And I love today’s video visually speaking-a punch of gorgeousness 🙂
I also love today’s video b/c is addressed an issue that I have struggled with for years. I always felt guilty or resentful as you mentioned. Finally, I figured out that if I was upfront in the beginning and explained to my husband and family that this week I have an important project to submit for example, it would be a lot easier for them to understand and give me the space I need to work knowing that on the weekend we can have some family time.
And the same is true for work, I need to build in FUN time into my calendar so that I don’t feel that my job is turing me into a slave. I actually downloaded a fun time calendar from the oh my handmade goodness website that comes with stickers and all. I thought it was revolutionary for me considering that my calendar is filled w/ work stuff and I totally forget to play sometimes.
My takeaway from this vid is that it’s all about clear communication and being 100% present in whatever we are doing.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience!
Yes, it’s all about clear communication and getting focused. If you don’t focus on the present, you feel lousy and you don’t get very much done. Not good!
This is a very nice article. I love this because I can relate on it. I am always guilty about this.
Yes I suffer like this.I enjoy reading your post I can relate.Thanks for posting.
Loved the video and the ballons were the icing on the cake. You have such a video presense.
Feelings of guilt can consume us and negatively impact our lives and our relationships with others. This is why it is essential that we learn how to get rid of guilt..
I’ve nearly adjusted to my new part time job so it’s about time to start scheduling my business time for real now! Thanks that you’ve shared.
My issue is that I work a 40hour+, in the process of planning my wedding and working on my true love and passion, which is my blog. I find it difficult to even create an editorial calendar for myself because other things tend to creep up and steal my time. Right now, I am considering waking up at around 4 a.m. every day so that I can actually carve out the time to get “my stuff” done.
I actually downloaded a fun time calendar from the oh my handmade goodness website that comes with stickers and all. Thanks for sharing your site with us.
I also vote for misbehaving 2!
Its so cool that you answer all your coments, it’s so thoughtful and cute. Xxx