Before I met and married my husband, I was a serial dater.
I dated six guys–each for a year to a year and a half–before my husband. I usually only stayed single for a month or two before jumping into another relationship.
When I look back on those relationships, I knew way before the relationships ended that they weren’t the guys for me.
There was one guy in particular who was this amazingly nice guy. The kind of guy who would wash my car as a surprise, bring my roommate lunch when she was sick while I was working, and clean my apartment for me when I was swamped with work. He did anything he could to make me happy.
We dated for well over a year, but by the time we reached one year, I knew he wasn’t the one. I think he knew that I wasn’t the one, too. So, why didn’t we end it sooner? Well, I didn’t, because he was such a nice guy. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. But, I also didn’t want to LOSE such a good guy.
I was terrified of the loss even though I wasn’t happy in the relationship.
When I finally broke it off, I felt overwhelming relief, because it was the right thing to do.
There have been many other times in my business and in my personal life where I’ve been scared to let something go even though it was the right thing to do. And, once I finally let it go, new opportunities opened up and I was so much happier.
If you don’t let go of the stuff that isn’t working, you don’t have room for the stuff that will work.
That’s what I’m talking about in today’s video:
Is there something you need to let go of? Is there something you need to stop doing? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
Hi, April what you said today is so important.
When you dont let go of stuff, you cant move foward.
Thanks for your lovely videos!
=D
Hey Bruna! Glad you enjoyed it. And thanks for your kind words!
Great video. Needed to hear this today so, thank you! It is surprisingly terrifying to let go of something even when you know it is hurting you.
We’re wired that way–I wish it was easier for us to let things go, but it just isn’t.
Love you April …but I’m still not giving up cheese.
Well, I recommend not eating a pound of it in one sitting 😉
What do you mean you gave up counseling?? I think you are counseling us all right now! 🙂
Everything that we’ve been through, even though some of it may have been “given up,” helps to shape us into the people we are today.
And, sometimes to know what you want, you have to know what you don’t want! The entire journey is a learning process.
Yes, true! But, in a different way.
Oh, yes–I definitely agree that it helps shape who we are today. I would be a different person if I hadn’t gotten my master’s in social work and practiced therapy.
Hi April!
Thanks for another wonderful video. I was at this point all last year – after having been employed with the same company for eight years, surviving two layoffs and losing significant salary and benefits, I’d built up an enormous amount of “false loyalty.” Working in a toxic office with a handful of toxic characters, I dreaded going in every morning, yet somehow I was so thankful to still have my job. My husband (and online folks such as yourself) helped me see the light. I’d been bouncing around the idea in my head for years of starting my own creative business. So, we finally bit the bullet and made the leap. Granted, we have given up a lot, but I feel like I’m getting a lot more in return. I am a lot happier with my career goals these days than before and having that control over my creative business has made all the difference! There is such a wonderful online community of folks – you, Marie Forleo, Laura Roeder -that give us creatives the confidence to do these things. Thank God I found you when I did, cause I’d still be a miserable blob sitting in that toxic office!
You don’t know how much this warms my heart! I’m so glad that I’ve been helpful in your journey of starting your own creative business.
Hi
thanks for this post, really inspiring!
I have this feeling with my business lately, cause I’ve opened my etsy shop last summer, but the things aren’t the way I hoped.
So maybe I have to change it all… even my products…I can’t decide right now 🙁
(sorry for my english, I’m italian)
Hey Grete! It can be really difficult to make those types of decisions. I just took a look at your Etsy shop and I really like it–especially the unique product photography style!
Hi. Just want to say the sign up for the blogging for your creative business will not let me fill in my email address. So here you have it. doodlink@mac.com.
Also, love this post. As with all your posts, really gives me something to think about and work on, and I don’t mean the pound of cheese thing.
Doodles
Hey Debbie! Just went to sign you up and it looks like you’re already signed up 🙂
Hahahahahaha….I’m glad!
This topic of “Letting Go” keeps popping up for me, this year, and especially in the last month. … I have a lot of things I need to let go of, but I am struggling to do so. Thank you for this bit of Wednesday Wisdom.
You’re so welcome Phoebe! Letting go of things isn’t easy–it can be a really difficult process.
I knew Krisssy was the one! I heard it on the golf course, first.I was team Kris from the beginning.
Funny, funny stuff! The cheese story is a classic in our house and now yours, lol!
Love ya
Moma
I know that you knew Kris was the one…but you have to remind me every chance you get, don’t you? Love you, too.
There is such a wonderful online community of folks – you, Marie Forleo, Laura Roeder -that give us creatives the confidence to do these things. Thanks for letting me stopped by.
So glad you’re enjoying it Pershy!
Yes right ,nice post we must be creative .and discover new things,
very very true . Running around in circles really doesn’t help if something doesn’t feel right. I let go of a lot of things last year – didn’t feel like it represented me . I feel so much lighter that I started all over again.
Thanks for your advice, April.
And, your art is amazing for it! Making these tough decisions isn’t easy–but it feels so much better afterwards!
Amen April!!!
Letting go is one of the best things you can do for yourself!
After 50 years of living, giving up things has become normal for me. I don’t fear it so much anymore, cause I know it is good for me!!! It opens new doors!
Not letting go is like having a plate piled high with food…you keep adding more and more to your plate, cause it all looks so good, but you know you can’t eat it all, and if you try your just going to be miserable. We need to keep the “plate” manageable! (that analogy probably doesn’t work for guys who always pile their plates high.)
Thanks April, for all the encouragement!!!!
I like that analogy! I hope that letting go becomes easier for me, especially when it comes to the really hard stuff.
It’s really difficult for me to let go. Of anything.
Last fall me moved in a considerably smaller apartment and boy that was difficult time. We had to get rid of some books we didn’t really ever read, my boyfriend got rid of some of the DVDs he wasn’t watching (he’s a movie geek) and we gave a bunch of old clothes to goodwill. It was really hard, but now I’ve noticed I never even miss the stuff I got rid off.
I’ve been in Second Life for a couple of years now and for most of that time I’ve had a store in there (actually selling stuff, yes). But the recent year and then some has been really bad in SL economy, like world economy too. And in addition to that I’ve been really uninspired in creating new stuff. A couple of weeks ago I decided to close the store for now, cause paying the rent was too much for too little fun. I’m still trying to cope with the letting go…
Thanks for your inspiring words!
Hey Mervi! I understand moving and getting rid of stuff. My husband and I moved a couple months ago. We are still going through everything and getting rid of the stuff that we haven’t used in the past year. It’s actually a lot more stuff than I realized, but I know that I probably won’t miss any of it.
Amazing to catch this video today. It is exactly where I am. I had to let go of a business partnership this week. Holding on to it was a Catch 22. I didn’t really have the time to invest in getting something else going well as a full replacement, but it wasn’t working well at all for me anymore to be able to have control of my own calendar. Letting go brought such a feeling of relief, even without a fully fleshed out what do I do next plan in place.
Business partnerships can be super tough to let go of–and can become one of those catch 22 situations. Glad you figured out the decision you needed to make!
Sometimes we need to choose between the two and letting go is the most hardest part to deal with it, however, we need to move on and deal with it. Just keeping moving. A door will close and another one opens. 🙂
So true!
eeek, tears! I am here at that place. I think I am outgrowing one of my Etsy stores. I have worked sooooo hard on it, and it is finally doing better than ever. But this has caused an inner nagging that, If I can do this well with this, then I can do much greater with something else that I totally enjoy. There are somethings about the products I make that are starting to irritate and annoy me. And then some other things are too detailed to make and it stresses me out to make them. I am really struggling with this. I have decided to take a “vacation” from both of my Etsy stores at the end of the month because I can’t see clearly unless I step out of this situation for a while. I know I will lose profits, but I’ve gotta get my peace back. Thanks for this confirmation, you’re the best. SMooCHes!
Oh Charity, I feel for you. These decisions can almost feel heartbreaking, but I’m confident that you already know what you WANT to do. It’s just about making it official. If we really pay attention to ourselves, these decisions already have an answer. We just have to follow our instincts and trust that it will work out.