You never think it’s going to be you.
You never imagine that you’re going to be the one traveling the country, meeting with world-renowned experts, trying to figure out how to treat the rare disease you’ve developed.
Then, one day you realize that it is you. Or, at least, that’s what happened to me.
My life started revolving around doctors’ appointments, traveling to Johns Hopkins, and medication regimens.
I woke up feeling hopeless, my body aching all over day after day. I stopped leaving the house. I never got out of my pajamas…I’d just change into a new pair each day. I was in physical agony.
I wondered if I’d ever get well enough to have children. I wondered if my husband should leave me since I wasn’t a “real” partner. I wasn’t capable of cleaning, cooking or walking our dogs. He had to do everything, and I felt extreme, heart-crushing guilt.
As cliché as it sounds, I often wanted to scream, “WHY ME?”
After my last appointment with a rheumatologist, everything crashed down. He said things like, “There is no cure. There is no treatment.”
I remember looking over at my husband and seeing a look of helplessness on his face. My hope vanished in that sterile white room.
I spent two days feeling devastated and then I decided that I was going to get better. I would figure out how. It may seem crazy, but I knew I could do it.
I’ve made major changes in my life, prioritizing everything around my health. I researched. I stopped drinking diet coke. I forced myself to get out of the house and walk my dogs everyday even when I felt as if I’d been run over by a snowplow. I took supplements to give my depleted immune system a boost.
I also gave my morning routine a bright and shiny makeover.
These changes have impacted my health more than any medication I’ve tried. Now, I’m able to walk my dogs without cringing in pain. I’m able to work at least six hours a day. I have energy in the evenings to make dinner with my husband and sometimes, craft afterwards. I’m taking a couple Illustrator courses and loving the skills I’m learning. I wake up between 8:30 and 9:30 whereas I used to wake up around 11 and have to force myself out of bed. I don’t feel exhausted after taking a shower. I leave the house! I run errands. I feel a lot better.
When I think about how much I’ve turned things around on my own, I’m amazed.
I don’t want to give you the wrong impression. It hasn’t been a smooth, easy ride. Every day, I have to choose health. Otherwise, I’d slip back into bad habits. I also continue to take pain medication when needed.
I’ve had to replace my “work till you drop” mindset with a “take breaks and prioritize how you’re feeling” mindset.
My morning routine is another example of putting my health first:
Wake up when my body is ready to get up. No alarms. No guilt for sleeping in when my body needs the rest. I feel blessed that I’m able to do this, because I know many people struggling with chronic illness must be at work early in the morning and are forced to wake up with a blaring alarm clock.
Drink a cup of filtered water with half a lemon squeezed into it. I learned that this flushes out your liver and the toxins that have accumulated while you slept from Kris Carr’s book, Crazy Sexy Diet.
Do a five-minute morning yoga routine. Stretching wakes me up and works out some lingering pain.
Drink a cup of herbal tea. Drink green juice.
While I’m sipping on these beverages I either: work on one of my Illustrator courses, write or journal. I do NOT check my email, because I want to start my day with something fun and relaxing.
The above takes me anywhere from an hour to one and a half hours. Then, I check my email, responding to as many as I can within a twenty-minute time frame.
Most days, I walk my dogs for an hour after I’m done with email. If it’s raining, I’ll wait to see if it stops and walk them in the afternoon. While I walk, I listen to an audio book {Have you heard of Audible? It’s fantastic!}. Right now, my iPod’s playing The Storyteller by Jodi Picoult.
That’s my morning. It sets me up for a relaxing, health-filled day.
When I’m done with my morning routine, my pain has usually decreased and I’m ready to work.
I read the first line and got all teary. It’s true, we never think it’ll happen to us whatever it may be! I’m so glad you told yourself you’ll get better! it’s amazing how our mind works and I really believe it’s capable of anything. Happy to hear you’re on the right path. 🙂 I’ve also started drinking water in the morning before my tea, just need to get used to making green juice daily now.
Everytime I see someone drinking a coke or other soft drink I tell them about your story! 🙂 thanks for sharing all this April. Means a lot to me.
Thanks Haroulla! I couldn’t do without my green juice–I look forward to it every morning.
Yay!!! I hope it helps some of them! 🙂
Your story sounds very familiar. I too suffer from chronic illness and have made many changes to be able to live my life the way I want to. I have 2 kids and I work home making my days long and sometimes my night’s even longer. Dealing with constant pain, fatigue and a mashup of annoying symptoms has encouraged me to make my health a priority so I can have productive days.
Glad you are doing better and have a handle on your illness and bravo and cheers to a solid morning routine.
Thanks Chantel! I with you lots of health and happiness! 🙂
Hey April! It’s great to read how you’re overcoming your health problems, it takes a lot of courage. And I’m happy that you are getting better every day. Thanks for sharing.
(Audible is great to take walks!)
Thanks Raquel!
I loooooove Audible!
I am the WORST with my morning routine, but I know I need to get better at it. I don’t have the luxury of waking up when my body is ready – I have to be at my day job at 8:00am. I have the hardest time getting out of bed and then I’m rushed trying to get ready. This post inspires me to try to create a better routine – yours sounds perfect!
Yay…I’m so glad it’s inspiring you to make some changes. Even small changes to your morning can make a big difference to your overall day. I know that having to be at work early makes that difficult.
Divine Mz April…I wondered if I should comment, because everybody has advice, and it gets annoying. I know. I’ve been there. But…..just in case….Here goes. If you’ve already considered this…just ignore it…Okey Dokey? I spent years feeling like you describe. I hurt all over. I was so frickin’ tired, I could sleep until 11…then take 2 hour nap at 1…go to bed at 7. Test after test really didn’t show anything. They thought I had Lupus. They thought I had a number of other autoimmune diseases. I lived like that until I was 36. Then I, by chance, ran across some info about food allergies. I went to the allergist and got tested for every food they had. I was horribly allergic to every single grain (wheat, oats, quinoa, rice, corn), milk products and SOY. The odd thing was, the allergic reactions I had were not your typical allergic reaction…like sneezing or congestion etc. If that would have been the case, I would have figured it out earlier. It was FATIGUE out the wazoo…achy, flu-like feelings, memory fog, etc.As it turned out, in an attempt to be “healthy” and feel better, I had been eating a lot of whole grains, dairy and SOY. So, I was actually making myself worse instead of better. In all the years I sought medical care for an answer, not one doc mentioned food allergies. At this point, if I stay away from the grains, dairy and soy, I feel great. If I get into it, I’ll feel like total crap, and all the symptoms come back. Sooo….it’s just something to consider. In any case…take care of you!! We need your spark in the world!
Hey Robin! Thanks for sharing your story. I’m getting tested for every allergy known to man {hopefully} at the end of May, so if any of it is related to food allergies {or making it worse}, I’ll know soon! 🙂
Groovy! Just make SURE they test you for their entire food panel. For me…I had to pester them into it. Geez….even my allergist didn’t want to give me the entire food panel…but I insisted on it. Good thing I did. Anyhoo….May the Force Be With YOu! 🙂
Thanks! I’m definitely going to be VERY persistent. They don’t know who they’re dealing with if they try not to test for the entire food panel. 🙂
Plus, my husband’s coming with me and I hate to say it but when any doctors find out that he’s a lawyer, they tend to give me the best treatment. It’s awful that they wouldn’t do it for everyone–but I’ve realized that’s how it is.
Hey there terrific blog! Does running a blog such as this take
a large amount of work? I have very little understanding of
programming but I had been hoping to start my own blog
in the near future. Anyway, should you have any recommendations or
techniques for new blog owners please share. I know this is off
subject nevertheless I just had to ask. Appreciate it!
Hey Bridgette! My blog does take a good amount of work. I blog daily and spend anywhere from 20 minutes to 3 hours on each post. BUT, as a newbie blogger, you don’t need to do that. Blogging once a week is a great way to start. You don’t have to put a ton of pressure on yourself. I recommend getting comfortable with blogging and set reasonable goals. Good luck!
Ugh! This sounds horrible, I’m so sorry. I went back and read your previous post, and just had to comment.
I have celiac disease among many other health quirks, so I can really understand where you’re coming from. Luckily, as far as day-to-day functioning goes, I take a medication that manages most of my fatigue. Granted, I take it for something completely unrelated, so for a long time I’ve been worried if I’m actually hurting myself by being so high-functioning whilst my unmedicated body is not. (Sort of like how caffeine mimics energy but isn’t real energy– such that the wear you put on your body while caffeinated is actually very real.) I literally have a doctor’s appointment on Monday to help me sort it out, but it is incredibly frustrating to have to rely on medical professionals so much– knowing that they make mistakes, that each one has their own list of biases, and that many will even suggest opposing treatments. One thing I’m currently looking into is a tilt table test to check for POTS syndrome, considering that I am an avid fainter, but I have no idea what the odds are that it’s a culprit.
Anyways, just thought I’d throw out a bit of my story to tell you you’re totally not alone, even though what you’re going through sounds much more painful and debilitating than I think I could manage. Kudos to you for all the changes you’ve made! I hope you are able to get more answers soon.
I haven’t been tested for celiac disease but I’m suuuuuuper allergic to gluten. If I happen to consume a couple crumbs, I get flu-like symptoms. It’s awful.
I know what you mean…sometimes when I take pain medicine, I wonder if I’m overdoing it because I’ve taken the medicine and can’t feel all the pain.
Thanks for sharing!!! It’s nice knowing that I’m not alone…but I hate that others are struggling with their health.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience-it really touched me. It is definitely not easy what you’re going through. I have been there myself and when I decided-like you- to take my health matters into my own hands and become my own doctor, everything shifted. It has been a grueling test of patience, strength, and courage, but I am so much healthier and knowledgeable than I have ever been. I actually have friends of mine who are doctors who call me and ask for advice! Crazy!
The most important thing I remember is to choose health, just as you said. It is a daily and even moment to moment practice.
I know you are up to your ears in stuff to research, but I just want to leave you with this video by Fully Raw Krisitina. I don’t know if you have seen her channel before. Excellent videos and a very inspiring positive woman who has overcome her own debilitating illness the natural way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bge-OkyN3E
Sending you a big hug + a lot of support on your journey towards wellness!
Wow…doctors who call you and ask for advice?!? That’s awesome that you’ve done so much research and figured out how to treat yourself.
So true. I have to remind myself to choose my health every day.
I haven’t seen her videos before. Thanks for pointing me in her direction! 🙂
Oh, April, what a rough journey it sounds like you have been on. I am so glad that you have been able to push through the pain and find a routine that helps you to feel better. I do help you are able to find out what is causing all of this. I’m always amazed at how many people go through this type of thing, day in and day out.
Thanks, Bev! 🙂
I have to agree that the mind is a powerful healer. I think just saying to yourself “I’m going to figure this out and get better” probably put you WAY ahead of most people. I am SO looking forward to the day when I can get up when my body is ready instead of having to set the alarm for my day job. Although even then I may need to use the alarm…I seem to be able to sleep like nobody’s business! LOL! 🙂
YES…It sure seemed like it made a big difference.
Hahahahahaha…I’m a sleeper, too. I go to bed early and can easily sleep for twelve hours whereas my husband is up early no matter what.
Hi April!
I admire your persistence and your positivity and I know that you will manage to overcome your health problems. A friend of my husband has fybromalgia and she says that she manages the pain much better with a healthy diet (vegan, gluten free, additive free, staying away from the microwave), meditation and yoga (she actually just finished her training to become a yoga teacher).
When it comes to healing meditations, I can personally recommend the mantra RA MA DA SA. Snatam Kaur’s version is my favorite. I did it for myself and it worked wonders (I had fibroadenomas in my breasts and they disapeared). Also, I thought the resources in this website may be useful: http://www.spiritvoyage.com/blog/index.php/kundalini-mantras-and-meditations-for-healing/
I recommended you on facebook the book Food as Medicine but forgot to tell you the author, so here’s the link: http://www.spiritvoyage.com/blog/index.php/kundalini-mantras-and-meditations-for-healing/
I hope this helps!
PS: I’m also a lawyer and I see the look in people’s faces when I mention it 😉
I’m so inspired by how you took control of your health, and I’m always amazed by how much our diets affect our health and energy. Thanks for sharing your story and your morning routine. I have a morning routine that includes journaling, reciting affirmations, meditating, and creating a mental image of my day. I watched the video, and I think I’d like to add this simple yoga routine to my morning schedule. Seems easy for a yoga novice like me. 🙂
Our morning routines can make such a big difference to our days! It is an easy yoga routine for beginners. I used to be flexible–I’m not anymore and this one works well for me.
It’s kind of shocking and I’m surprised.
Somehow I had never thought you, a succesfull business women, would struggle with stuff like that!
I know, it’s stupid…
But thank you for sharing your story, it shows once again that everybody has it’s difficulties and that those things shouldn’t stop you from doing what you love.
And I hope for you that this routine in your life will prevent any fallback in the future. Cheers to your health!
I think everyone has “stuff” that they struggle with! I’m no different. 🙂
Thanks for the well wishes!
You’ve inspired me to make some changes – mornings are the worst for me. When I was younger it didn’t matter so much as I did a lot of my work at night and found it was when I was most creative but now I find I cant concentrate as well late at night and I fall in a heap.
If Im trying to meet a deadline I find myself staring at the screen not really doing anything for long periods of time whereas I used to find the stress of the deadline motivating.
Time to get organised in the mornings for a more productive day and relaxing evenings instead of ones where Im trying o catch up! PS love the idea of green juice too! Thanks April for another inspiring post x
Yay! I’m so glad this inspired you to make some changes to your morning routine. It can make such a big difference to the rest of your day. I wish you all the best and hope it works for you.
And, green juice is the BEST! 🙂