Two weeks ago I published a blog post on why saying no is important and how to say no in practically any situation.
I even snuck in one of my favorite Gilmore Girls quotes. (If you can find it, you officially become one of my favorite people.)
In the comments section of that post, Katie from Art Spreads Joy asked if I could write a follow-up post on figuring out when to say no, especially when you come up with a bunch of amazing ideas but you don’t have time to do all of them.
I’ve got ya back, Katie!
And, I absolutely know the feeling when you want to do all the things, but you have to choose because you also have to feed your dog and sometimes eat and sleep.
My simple yet effective way of figuring out what to say no to is to answer the following five questions. If you answer ‘no’ to any of these, you should probably say no to the opportunity or creative idea, at least for now. You can always scribble it down in an ideas notebook to keep for later.
Question 1: Is it a pop the champagne, sprinkle the confetti kind of yes?
This is the simplest way to rule out anything, especially when you’re almost booked to capacity and can only take on one or two more things before going into complete panic mode.
Is this the kind of yes that makes you want to pop the champagne and sprinkle confetti? You know what I mean. The kind of yes that makes you squeal a little. The kind of yes that you can’t wait to tell your best biz friend about. The kind of yes that makes you want to dance around your living room while blasting ‘Bust a Move’ by Young MC.
If it’s not that kind of yes, it’s probably not worth your time. You became a girl boss for a reason, right? Top of that list is that you get to make all the decisions. (Okay, top of that list is wearing fuzzy slippers to work but making all the decisions is next.)
When I start thinking about saying yes to something because I’ve got that ‘well-I-could-maybe-fit-this-in’ guilt because I care about the person asking or I’ve got a little extra time, I remind myself that one of the best perks of running my own business is filling my time with stuff that makes me feel great.
Whether it’s a ‘meh’ business idea that you think will be really profitable or an interview request that just doesn’t feel quite right, it’s better to say no so that you have time for the good stuff.
Question 2: Have I already committed to similar projects/opportunities/ideas?
You have a brilliant idea (light bulb moment!) for a new checklist for your email opt-in that you know your ideal customer will love but you haven’t even finished the last checklist that you wanted to use as an email opt-in freebie. Write down the idea and leave it for later.
As creatives, this kind of situation happens a lot. Look a squirrel! And, you’re off working on something else, leaving the last thing half-finished.
If you want to run a successful business, you have to finish projects and ideas. Make a rule with yourself that goes something like this: I can’t start another ______________ until I finish this _______________. And, stick with it.
Same thing for business opportunities. How many guest posts can you write each month? How many interviews do you feel comfortable accepting? How many speaking engagements can you fit into each quarter?
Be honest with yourself. Then when someone asks to interview you and you’re already booked, you can just let them know that you don’t have any openings right now.
Question 3: Will this help me achieve my current business goals?
As a creative entrepreneur, you’re probably inundated with ideas. One really good way to decide which ones to act on is to give it the ‘current business goals’ test.
Will this idea help you reach your business goals?
I’m usually working towards two to three business goals. For example, my biz goals list might look like this: redesign new website, get new program ready for launch and promote CL courses.
If those three things were my current business goals and I came up with a really great idea to gain new Instagram followers, I wouldn’t act on it right now. I’d write it down and give it time in the future if I switch my business goals (and want to work on growing my Instagram following) or have more time (look Ma….a business miracle!)
This also applies to opportunities. If one of your goals is to grow your email list from 200 to 1,000 and you get an interview opportunity that will get you in front of hundreds of your ideal customers, take it, knowing that if they love your interview they’ll probably sign up to receive your emails.
Question 4: Will my future self want to rewind to this moment to give my present self a high-five for saying yes?
I try to think about how I’m going to feel in the future if I say yes to something.
Will I resent having another interview scheduled next week or will I be excited for it? Will I be inspired by another watercolor challenge or will I feel pressure to create when I don’t really feel like it? Will I be glad that I took the time to have lunch with that colleague or will I wish I had spent it with my husband?
We can’t predict the future but we can think about how we’ll feel when it comes time to actually do the thing that we’re saying yes to in this moment. And, that might give you a bit more clarity.
Question 5: Can I realistically take on another project/interview/speaking engagement/creative idea this month?
This is the bottom line. Do you have the time?
I want to be clear that time is all about prioritizing. You can make time for anything that’s important enough. (Just ask my college self who was working 40 hours a week, taking a full load of classes and student teaching but still made time to drive from Virginia to Alabama to visit my boyfriend—now husband—once or twice a month.)
But, only you really know whether adding another to-do to your task list will turn you into the Hulk.
Will you feel even more overwhelmed and stressed, wishing you had said no? Business should be fun—not filled with hair-pulling tantrums. Leave that to toddlers and Donald Trump.
I hope these five questions help you determine what you should say yes to and what you should pass on.
I know it’s hard to pass on creative ideas that you’re excited about, but passing for now doesn’t mean passing forever.
Seriously awesome questions, April!!!!
There was a time that I said yes to practically anything that landed in my email box. (Well, except for the spam requests…ha)
As you can imagine a lot of these projects took up a whole bunch of time and energy, with very little in return. So, I’ve totally learned my lessons – plural! 🙂
I think the biggest questions for me is it the pop the champagne (or in my case, red wine) type of project or does it fit into my business goals. These two questions are huge and are my go to these days!
Honesty, after being a YES-girl, I had to get used to saying no to people. But I’m so glad that I’ve boarded that no train when it doesn’t fit with my goals.
Thanks for the post!! Hope you’re doing well!!
Thanks Jennifer!
I’ve been there and done that, too. It’s really overwhelming when you feel like you should say yes to everything and it takes over all your time.
I hope you’re doing well, too. I want to hear about what’s been going on with you! We need to catch up.
I love the idea of keeping a “get back to it later” list. Because it stays loyal to the idea flow and tells your fiery creative, “yes, but not yet” not “no, what are you crazy… You can’t do that.”
Yes, exactly! 🙂
I love this post, April! I am definitely chasing squirrels all over the place too often!
Working on the B-School modules along with you and Mayi has really made me realize the importance of setting achievable, realistic short and long term goals so that it’s easier to stay focused and on track.
Recognizing when and how to say no is a huge part of taking control of your business and your life.
Thank you!
YAY! I’m so glad you loved this post.
It can be really hard to figure out what to say no to, especially when you’re trying to grow your business. Everything seems like it might be that opportunity that helps.
Thanks for commenting!
Thanks for writing this, and thanks Katie for asking that question all of us wondered about as well 🙂
I’ll copy these questions in my standard operations document (I just need to remember to actually look in that document before I scramble to reply to the inquiry!)
This was a week of saying “NO” to work opportunities for me, but it was easy since I’ve committed beforehand that I will say no to anything that isn’t in my core zone of genius. They were great opportunities to prove to myself that I really mean it!
I’m so glad that Katie asked for a follow-up post. And, I had to think long and hard about how I determine what to say yes to. I came up with these questions because it’s usually what I consider before making a solid decision. 🙂
Very cool. Thanks for sharing!
I have said yes to way too many things in the past where it just made me feel like I was sinking or like I couldn’t breathe. I’m still getting used to saying no, and to not feeling guilty about it, as well. It’s hard for me to say no because I feel like I’m being an awful human being, but I know that’s not the case.
I really appreciate posts like this, April, as this is definitely somewhere that I can grow (especially saying no and setting boundaries). I love all of your questions to ask before saying yes, but I REALLY love question #1- I’m over here imagining throwing confetti around and it just brings a whole lotta joy. 🙂
Thanks, April!
You’re so welcome!
I think we all know that feeling. It’s not at all pleasant and makes running a business feel like those terrible day jobs we’re trying to avoid.
Thanks for commenting and sharing which question you liked most. Isn’t that a fun way to think about it? Do I want to throw confetti? No…then I’ll pass. 🙂
I love love LOVE question 4: Will my future self want to rewind to this moment to give my present self a high-five for saying yes?
I had never thought about it in that way, but in thinking about my future business goals, that question already helps give me more clarity.
Thank you for the wise words April!
YAY YAY YAY! I always try to imagine how I’ll feel on the day of the thing–interview, guest post, speaking engagement, testing out a new creative idea–because I don’t want to resent things or wake up and feel ‘meh’ about the things I have planned.
It definitely helps to bring a bit more clarity.
I’m all about item #3 right now. “Does it further my business goals?” I have started asking myself this before doing anything. It’s hard, because I want to do so much, but I have limited time and energy. I’m in start up mode, so I have to really stay on task. I was sent a press pass to cover a big fashion event here last week, but I didn’t go to any of it. Why? It doesn’t serve my knitting business to go shoot free photos of models getting their makeup done. Sure it’s fun and I could hang out with a bunch of cool women I know and meet more fun people. But does it serve my knitting blog? Can I post any of those photos on the blog? Um. No. So I didn’t go. Editing photos takes SO MANY HOURS!!!!! I don’t have the hours to spare on something “just for fun” right now. Unfortunately. The reality is that we have to stay on task to meet our goals and to further our business dreams. Thanks for speaking to that, because it made me feel much better about all the no’s that have been coming out of my mouth recently.
Great List!!
I struggle with 3 – 5 all the time. I am too nice! I’ve gotten better about number #5 recently. This year I started saying “not now, but I have an opening in…” with my one on one clients. I’m also better about #3, but I still cave sometimes when I want to help someone out. Even when it’s not really going to help me. I figure if I put a bit of good Karma out there, it will come back to me. But I try to make it something that’s not a huge time investment for me, if possible.